UNCLE SAM vs BOO-AA (AUNT) MAN MOHAN
May 6, 2011 by smdave1940
OBAMA KILLS OSAMA: MAN MOHAN IN TROUBLE
(It is a matter of research but this Man Mohan has replied smartly. You are the judge)
Reporter Robert: Sir, you being a Prime Minister of the largest democratic nation, how would you like to react on the recent killing of Osama Bin Laden?
Man Mohan: The former part of your statement is OK. I mean to say that I am the PM of the largest democratic country of the world. But what is this “React”? We have not to react. Fundamentalists of India are reactionists. e.g. Say BJP and Sangh etc… We are socialists. We are democratic socialists. Do not ask me about liberalisation etc… It is not on our agenda.
Reporter Robert: No Sir, I am not talking of that reaction. I mean to say, reaction in the sense how would you like to respond to this event?
Man Mohan: Well, it is off course a matter between Pakistan and the USA. But because we are also fighting against terrorism and we are more experienced in facing terrorism, we were and we are always ready to co-operate every country of the world in fighting out the terrorism. We are determined to end the terrorism of all kind from the world including saffron terrorism.
Reporter Robert: Sir, I mean to say how do you feel on this event?
Man Mohan: Eventually Osama Bin Laden was in Pakistan. Had he been in India, we would have handed over to USA, to provide an opportunity to conduct lawful proceedings. But you know Osama Bin Laden had never been remained at one place.
Reporter Robert: Do you think Osama Bin Laden had ever been remained in India?
Man Mohan: No. We do not have such information. Off course Hedley must be having some information. We are trying to get it through the US. But you know every thing can not be achieved overnight.
Reporter Robert: Are you hopeful of getting such information from Hedley?
Man Mohan: We have good relation with USA and other countries in this regards. We are always hopeful. One has to always remain hopeful in his life. And you know the nation has also to live its life. So, we are hopeful for our nation.
Reporter Robert: Sir, My point was that had Osama Bin Laden ever been in India?
Man Mohan: Have I not told you that we are in touch with USA and the US intelligence is interrogating Hedley. As soon as they would find some thing useful to us they will convey us. We will then apply for permission to visit USA to further interrogate Hedley. You know, we believe and we give more weightage to first hand information.
Reporter Robert: What do you expect from the likely interrogation of Hedley?
Man Mohan: That … whether Osama Ben Laden ever visited India or not?
Reporter Robert: But now Osama Bin Laden is dead. He is no more in the world. In what way that information would help you?
Man Mohan: Oh! I should not use any bad word for you. You know, we have some fundamentalist groups in our country. We are equally worried of them. If I have to say very bluntly then, I would say we are much more worried of them than the cross border terrorists.
Reporter Robert: Why much more worried of them and how much more worried of them?
Man Mohan: Ejee, As for cross boarder terrorists, the US intelligence and others are working. But as for these fundamentalists, they are greater terrorists because they terrify us in the election. We are worried of their taking political advantage of this episode.
Reporter Robert: Do you mean to say BJP would take political advantage of this event?
Man Mohan: Yes off course. Now some BJP leaders would try to become smart and would say, “if Obama can ask the US force to enter Islamabad, the place on which the US has no claim, why my party cannot ask its force to attack Pakistan Occupied Kashmir to destroy the training camps? In fact India has claim on POK.” Now you must know. Obama is Muslim. Neither I nor Madam is Muslim. Obama, being Muslim, can take such liberty. We are not only non-Muslim but absolutely secular. We have to take care of secular votes. Besides this ours is coalition government. And you know we have our limitation on every point and at every stage.
Reporter Robert: Sir, have you discussed this point with your allies?
Man Mohan: You know, our first worry and first target is our saffron terrorists. We are greatly terrified by them.
Reporter Robert: Sir, I am talking about the point that have you discussed the point of attacking on training camps of cross border terrorists in POK?
Man Mohan: See Mr. Robert, Try to understand. Cross border terrorism is dealt by the US intelligence. Our intelligence according to our present policy is doing post office job.
Reporter Robert: Post Office job? What is that post office job?
Man Mohan: Oh! My God!! Don’t you know what post office job is? Our main job is post office job. You see, in most of our states, other parties are ruling. We are passing information to them what we receive from the foreign intelligences. And this is good for us.
Reporter Robert: How is it good for you? You must be applying your mind to examine it for its authenticity and prominence.
Man Mohan: No. That is not our business. We have entrusted this responsibility to the states only. And that is also good for us and safe for us.
Reporter Robert: How is it so? I could not follow it.
Man Mohan: You see. Wherever BJP is ruling, and if any one of them takes action to kill a terrorists, we can term is a fake encounter. This is for the reason we have insisted to verify the information we gave to them. We can pass blame on that Chief Minister that it has committed fake encounter. If the CM says it has acted on our information, we would say it was the state government’s duty to verify the information.
In this way we can keep cake in both hands.
Reporter Robert: But Sir, from the very episode of Obama killing Osama, don’t you feel that that the opposition will ask you to pressurise Pakistan, to deport Daud?
Man Mohan: Oh! Yes!! We are some what disturbed.
Reporter Robert: How will you face this?
Man Mohan: Oh! We have to face it. You are right.
Reporter Robert: Narendra Modi too has said some thing. What has he said?
Man Mohan: I have not received that information. But if he has said any thing quoting Daud …
Reporter Robert: He definitely would relate Daud with this event.
Man Mohan: You know, we have some stereotype answers. Like… We have not received full information. We are collecting information. Yet the full information is not reached to the people of the US. We have to wait for some time. We are closely watching the situation. We are in touch with the US government.
Reporter Robert: Yes. Sir, that is all OK. But what is about deportation of Daud?
Man Mohan: Yes. We have sympathy towards Pakistan.
Reporter Robert: What do you mean by sympathy towards Pakistan? I am asking about deportation of Daud.
Man Mohan: Yes yes, I know it. As for the whereabouts of Osama Bin Laden, the Pakistan Government had said that Osama Bin Laden was not Pakistan.
Reporter Robert: Yes. And he was found in vicinity of ISI quarter.
Man Mohan: But you know. Like that we cannot blame Pakistan. If Pak government made false statement on Osama, it does not mean that its all the statements are false. You recall the Allahabad High Court verdict in case of Indira Gandhi. Indira Gandhi lied in her 16 statements but as for 17th statement the Honourable judge said that based on 16th lies we cannot conclude that her 17th statement is also a lie. Similar is the case with Pakistan Government. We have to trust our neighbour.
Reporter Robert: You mean to say that If Pakistan says that Daud is not in Pakistan, we should believe it and we should not exert pressure on it?
Man Mohan: Yes, we should not play politics with Pakistan. I mean to say we should not take political advantage of the critical situation of Pakistan government.
Reporter Robert: But sir, what about BJP? Will BJP not take the advantage of the critical situation of your party?
Man Mohan: We are ready for it. We are always ready for it. Though we have least states under our direct rule, no terrorists attack has taken place. We will say, it is due to all our precautions we have nullified the terrorists’ attacks.
Reporter Robert: But Sir, do you not think that the terrorists are under other form like Naxalites and Maoists etc…?
Man Mohan: Yes. But after all we are talking about terrorists. We are not talking about Naxalites and Maoists.
Reporter Robert: Killing means killing. Either it is by terrorists or by Naxalites or by Maoists. After all what difference it can make?
Man Mohan: You must know. Any two events are not identical and comparable. Our actions are supposed to be different. We are against every type of killing.
Reporter Robert: That is correct. But the killing of innocents has not been stopped. The Kashmiri Hindus are also not rehabilitated to their home land. Daud has also been not deported. Decision on the case of Kasab is also pending. There is no progress on any matter. And now you are facing scams like CWG, Black Money Red money in foreign banks.
Man Mohan: Yes. We are determined to crush corruption and we are serious on black money. You know we have taken action on Kalamadi and Raja. We would take much more actions. Once we promise we keep it. We kept all our promises. You know we are devoted to duties.
Reporter Robert: But Sir, people say that you acted on CWG case and on 2G case only when Supreme Court gave you direction. In most of the cases you have started acting only where Supreme Court gave you direction.
Man Mohan: Incidentally in some cases Supreme Court intervene into administrative matters. But you cannot generalise it. It is very bad and unfair on the part of media. You know we are pressing very hard to take action against Yedurappa of Karnataka. In fact BJP is a failure in administration every where. You take example of Modi. Some people say him killer. But we believe in rule of law. Every thing should be process through the law of land. We are examining the case of Yedurappa. We have already removed our CM of Maharashtra. We have also removed Kalmadi and Raja. But this BJP is not removing Yedurappa and it is not taking any action against him.
Reporter Robert: But do you think that the case of Yedurappa is comparable with the case of Kalmadi? Is the case of Yedurappa is comparable to the case of Raja of 2G scam?
Man Mohan: You must know that nothing is identical in this world. And that is why you should not go for comparability. And that is why at the time of security scam of Harshad Mehta I being the Finance Minister, said that it was the fault of system, and it would not be repeated in future.
Reporter Robert: Even then Satyam Scam took place.
Man Mohan: I once again stress upon that you cannot compare two cases. Nothing is identical in this world. We have to tackle different cases differently. Even two horses we have to control differently.
Reporter Robert: But Sir, do you not think that the issue of deportation of Daud will be a difficult issue for your government?
Man Mohan: Yes, it is an issue before us. We have recognised it. We are keeping close watch on it.
Reporter Robert: That means you know where Daud is.
Man Mohan: No. No. When Pakistan does not know the whereabouts of Daud, how can we know? But we are aware of the case. We have incorporated his name in our demand list.
Reporter Robert: It is said that you had avoided even preparation of the list. BJP had made it. You made a lot delay. BJP says you have not taken prompt action after Mumbai Blasts. Your intelligence was a failure. Daud could run away easily. People are of the opinion that he has been allowed to flee at the will of your party. Your party including one of your allied parties has close links with Daud. Daud’s sister is controlling his gang in Maharashtra for out of court settlement of property cases. What would you say on this?
Man Mohan: You are a foreign reporter. That is why you dare to take this liberty. Our local media reporters are happy with us. They work as coordinating agencies while forming and running our cabinet and structuring inter-se conditions.
Reporter Robert: Sir, you have not answered my question. How would you deal the case of deportation of Daud?
Man Mohan: I have already told you. At moment we are concentrating on the issue of corruption and local saffron terrorism. We are also working on black money in foreign banks. The last issue is very much important for us. It is all money that counts in the elections.
Reporter Robert: Do you not think that the issue of Daud could become a hot issue?
Man Mohan: Do not publish my this reply. With that condition I can tell you some thing.
Reporter Robert: Yes. Agreed Sir.
Man Mohan: Daud is our right hand. His gang has better network than ours own.
Daud has reduced land and property related cases in our courts. Vacations of Hutments by way of catching fire are also handled by others. We ask builders to have a joint venture with us without our risk. We permit them to do illegal constructions. Progressively we regularise them by imposing impact fee. We do not mind collapsing of old buildings. We have continued rent act so that Daud’s activity and his co-workers activity can flourish and run smoothly for collecting EMI from Hawkers etc… to give our shares.
We are happy. Commissioners of local bodies are happy. Daud is happy. What else is required? And for corruption we have our spoke persons like Tiwari who will point out Yedurappa all the time. Madam’s son would go on talking on saffron terrorism.
Media is our puppy. It cooperates in diverting public attention from one issue to other. We have some leaders who generally speak against us, but since they are mentally facing crisis of their identification, they break their heads to divert the mind of common mass on non-issues or passing blame on general mass. After all this is a democracy. We are expert in vote game.
Robert: What would be the position of your talks with Pakistan?
Man Mohan: If needed we would stop talks with Pakistan for the time being. Then silently we would launch it when time permits. This is our way of functioning and all are set to it.
Robert: What do you say about this killing of Osama Bin Laden? Is it an encounter or fake encounter or assassination? Was it a lawful action?
Man Mohan: We have no information in toto. It is all speculations. Our foreign affairs cannot be based on speculation. We give motherly treatment to our neighbour. After all we have created them.